The Return

An unplanned break from blogging occurred over Christmas. I really, really, struggle to maintain things like this. Every single time throughout childhood that I tried to write a diary I gave up in under 3 months.

It’s embarrassing really. Must try harder! I have so much I want to write about as well. Although now I feel I really should have started with: hope everyone reading has had an excellent Christmas and has a jolly New Year (unless you don’t celebrate these things in which case I wish you general happiness. Or perhaps just allocate these happiness wishes to a festival/celebration of your choice).

Now I’ve sorted that out I reckon it’s on with the show.

Alas the only thing that is really and truly on my mind right now is my knee. I realise how random that must sound but (annoyingly) my knee is quite a big issue in my life.

The short story is: I injured it during a fencing match in March, had some physio, re-injured it during a game of laser tag in August, waited AGES to get more physio, got a job involving massive amounts of standing up (without thinking because I never think about this, I just assume it’s all fine. I need to stop this) and continuously live with knee occasionally giving way and plunging me down to the floor. Sometimes I grab a chair and awkwardly return upright, other times it’s all the way down for me.

The job hadn’t been so much of a problem until today when I had a 6 hour shift on the busiest, most insane day of the year. For Americans: think Black Friday. It was beyond manic. And as a result: I am now in a lot of pain.

In a new twist of fate my other knee now hurts as well as it has been picking up the slack from Injured Knee. Oh joy.

I am due back at work tomorrow and the day after I and really don’t think my knees are up to it. Especially as one shift is 8 hours long.

Anyway. Looking back, this post is more of a whiny rant than anything. On the plus side it was kinda cathartic for me. Apologies if this was not such an experience for you! And also to anyone in any similar situation; I feel ya and I have my fingers crossed and good vibes going out for speedy recoveries for all!

Under the tree…

I’ve been at my parents’ today – just visiting, asking for a bit of help with some forms I had to do (a reminder that I am not all that grown-up yet!) and having dinner.

Tonight I lingered there for as long as I could as though being there would somehow delay the arrival of tomorrow: the second day at my new job. I am so nervous!

In some ways I feel like it’s worse than the first day – at least then it was all new and I could say to anyone and everyone ‘Sorry, it’s my first day, I’m not sure’ and then go and get help. The more I’m there, the more I’ll be expected to know and I fear not picking it up well enough!

I know it’s only shift number two but still… I feel all nervy. I don’t want to talk to strangers – I’ve never been good at it. I know it’s partly why I wanted the job: the experience will be good for me. Hopefully I’ll learn how to talk to people without panicking and being extremely awkward. But I’m still freaking out now!

To calm my nerves, when I arrived home a few minutes ago, I went straight to the kitchen (pausing only to switch on our fairy lights on the Christmas tree – oh yeah we’ve decorated already!) and I made myself a sandwich. But not just any sandwich: a fabulous, hearty sandwich.

Said bready delight was made of two doorstop chunks of bread, mature Cheddar, lettuce, pretend ham (known as Quorn ham to most) and sweet chilli sauce. This sandwich will see me through the morning, this sandwich will inspire me to keep going no matter how many gales blow through the door or how many times I have to say a cheery ‘HELLO’ to an ignoring stranger.

I love this sandwich.

And then, to top it all off, I went into the living room and realised that a brand new parcel has appeared under the Christmas tree and IT’S FOR ME! Wooo!! I bloody love Christmas. I’m so excited about this present… it’s like being a little kid again. I was wondering whether the Christmas magic would diminish year by year as I grew up: so far that hasn’t happened.

And I am so glad for that.