I’ve been at my parents’ today – just visiting, asking for a bit of help with some forms I had to do (a reminder that I am not all that grown-up yet!) and having dinner.
Tonight I lingered there for as long as I could as though being there would somehow delay the arrival of tomorrow: the second day at my new job. I am so nervous!
In some ways I feel like it’s worse than the first day – at least then it was all new and I could say to anyone and everyone ‘Sorry, it’s my first day, I’m not sure’ and then go and get help. The more I’m there, the more I’ll be expected to know and I fear not picking it up well enough!
I know it’s only shift number two but still… I feel all nervy. I don’t want to talk to strangers – I’ve never been good at it. I know it’s partly why I wanted the job: the experience will be good for me. Hopefully I’ll learn how to talk to people without panicking and being extremely awkward. But I’m still freaking out now!
To calm my nerves, when I arrived home a few minutes ago, I went straight to the kitchen (pausing only to switch on our fairy lights on the Christmas tree – oh yeah we’ve decorated already!) and I made myself a sandwich. But not just any sandwich: a fabulous, hearty sandwich.
Said bready delight was made of two doorstop chunks of bread, mature Cheddar, lettuce, pretend ham (known as Quorn ham to most) and sweet chilli sauce. This sandwich will see me through the morning, this sandwich will inspire me to keep going no matter how many gales blow through the door or how many times I have to say a cheery ‘HELLO’ to an ignoring stranger.
I love this sandwich.
And then, to top it all off, I went into the living room and realised that a brand new parcel has appeared under the Christmas tree and IT’S FOR ME! Wooo!! I bloody love Christmas. I’m so excited about this present… it’s like being a little kid again. I was wondering whether the Christmas magic would diminish year by year as I grew up: so far that hasn’t happened.
And I am so glad for that.