I just got excited because I had a ‘view’ today. Then I realised it was me.

Also WordPress has just wished me a happy anniversary. This would be more acheivement-y if I’d written more than 12 blog posts in a whole year and committed to the darn thing for longer than a month at a time.

Ah well. Keep ploughing on. And, may I add, it is a battle these days: I got drunk at the weekend and spilled Malibu all over my laptop. Though I removed the keys and cleaned it, I think I did it wrong. It’s really hard to push the keys down now. Typing is literally a lot of effort. Like, my fingers are kinda tired right now.

Anyway. I was off work today cos I felt TOO ILL. Some sorta stomach bug… it wasn’t pleasant. Sitting here on the sofa all day was nice though. I watched ‘This Is The End’ with James Franco (in that he was in it, not that he was here, alas. I was gonna have a Franco Marathon but my attention span is not long enough. Plus ‘Your Highness’ was stupid).

I’ve lost the thread now. I’m just really envious of James Franco – he’s SO BUSY. He acts, directs, does art, writes books, goes to college, TEACHES at college.

I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings and he’s out there achieving all this STUFF. Dammit Franco. And he’s off his head on pot most of the time* – how does he still manage to achieve?

He also seems really nice. I mean, I don’t know him, but he comes across as a nice guy in interviews and stuff. I no longer know if I want to BE him or DO him, I’ve become confused.

NO idea what my point was here. Something about JF. (Also he once made a movie of my FAVOURITE King Arthur legend. AND another movie about my FAVOURITE actor.)

I saw his film ‘Flyboys’, about pilots in the war, with a friend and when we came out she asked ‘So. Which ones were the planes?’ If you can’t tell the difference between James Franco and a plan then, dude, you got a problem.

Gonna stop writing now. Don’t usually fangirl all over the internet, I’ve disturbed myself. Whether to click ‘post’ or ‘delete’ is now the only question.

*Is that libel? If it is, I just wanna say that that’s a GUESS and a JOKE. I have no idea if he does pot. Except that he totally looks like he does. But maybe that’s just his face. And his voice. Whatever.


Under the tree…

I’ve been at my parents’ today – just visiting, asking for a bit of help with some forms I had to do (a reminder that I am not all that grown-up yet!) and having dinner.

Tonight I lingered there for as long as I could as though being there would somehow delay the arrival of tomorrow: the second day at my new job. I am so nervous!

In some ways I feel like it’s worse than the first day – at least then it was all new and I could say to anyone and everyone ‘Sorry, it’s my first day, I’m not sure’ and then go and get help. The more I’m there, the more I’ll be expected to know and I fear not picking it up well enough!

I know it’s only shift number two but still… I feel all nervy. I don’t want to talk to strangers – I’ve never been good at it. I know it’s partly why I wanted the job: the experience will be good for me. Hopefully I’ll learn how to talk to people without panicking and being extremely awkward. But I’m still freaking out now!

To calm my nerves, when I arrived home a few minutes ago, I went straight to the kitchen (pausing only to switch on our fairy lights on the Christmas tree – oh yeah we’ve decorated already!) and I made myself a sandwich. But not just any sandwich: a fabulous, hearty sandwich.

Said bready delight was made of two doorstop chunks of bread, mature Cheddar, lettuce, pretend ham (known as Quorn ham to most) and sweet chilli sauce. This sandwich will see me through the morning, this sandwich will inspire me to keep going no matter how many gales blow through the door or how many times I have to say a cheery ‘HELLO’ to an ignoring stranger.

I love this sandwich.

And then, to top it all off, I went into the living room and realised that a brand new parcel has appeared under the Christmas tree and IT’S FOR ME! Wooo!! I bloody love Christmas. I’m so excited about this present… it’s like being a little kid again. I was wondering whether the Christmas magic would diminish year by year as I grew up: so far that hasn’t happened.

And I am so glad for that.

Another Interlude

So. I hadn’t realised what a long story my boyfriend tale was. I reckon it’s probably best if I continue to break it down into chunks – that was the way it really happened after all. Weekly two hour sections are an… interesting way to start a relationship. I remain undecided as to whether it is a rather good way (lots of getting to know you, limit on weekly pressure due to time constraints) or a very bad way (it can be painfully drawn out – I’ll try to ensure the retelling isn’t!)

Anyway, in the news department: I recently acquired a job! Yay. I graduated this year and (after chilling pretty much all summer) I’ve been looking for while.

Starting this week I’ll be working for a national clothing chain. I’m somewhat looking forward to it but I’m also somewhat terrified! It’s pretty different from anything I’ve done in the past so I don’t really know what to expect. We had an orientation last week which involved watching over-dramatic videos about safety and shop-lifting. They kept showing rows of merchandise and then one would fade out quickly and the whole picture would turn black and white while intense music played. So, you know. Don’t shop-lift. That’s the message there.

Anyway! It should be good. I do actually really like the shop and it seems like quite a pleasant place to work – the manager that did the induction was really keen on emphasizing employee safety and whatnot so that was nice.

In other news: it’s one month til Christmas! I am aware that is probably not news to people but I am quite excited. I love Christmas. It’s the glitteriest time of the year: what’s not to like?

I shall be off now, just wanted to do a news update post tonight. Proper service (I do intend to post every other day) will resume shortly. Things to expect: me freaking out about my meeting with a friend who I drastically fell out with this time last year but am now trying to reconnect with, me freaking out about the ongoing confusion of men in my life, me not freaking out the glittery, snowy joy that is the Yule-ish season, me freaking out about what on earth to get people for the culmination of said season. Also, I guess, me using long words and peculiar sentence structure. But that’s just business as usual really.

Masquerade, paper faces on parade…

I went out for Hallowe’en tonight. I really like Hallowe’en.

I never used to. We never acknowledged it in my house when I was growing up. I think because it was less known in Britain then and people only heard about the concept of celebrating scary things or evil things and so they rejected it. It’s gradually crept into public acceptance now though and I guess most kids will go trick or treating at least once in their lives.

I actually did go once.  A new girl had joined our school; her dad was a pilot and they’d been living in Hawaii. I bet rainy old Britain, although her original homeland, was a bit of a after that. Anyway, she had, of course, celebrated Hallowe’en all her life so she decided to throw a party to show us all how it was done. And it was done AWESOMELY. She had a pinata, a haunted house with different games and challenges, strange and wonderful American sweets and then we all trick or treated around the neighbourhood. To a bunch of Brit kids this was all very exotic. I don’t think I’d ever seen a pinata in reality before that night!

Of course we all dressed up as well. Me being me (and never quite managing to get the hang of whatever it was that teenage girls were meant to do); I decided to go as Anakin Skywalker. Because I really fancied him. See: half girly, half Star Wars fan supergeek.

My grandma made me a fantastic costume. She’s always been excellent at stuff like that. All I have to do is show her a couple of photos from a movie or whatever and she will whip up a fabulous, detailed outfit in a few days. Bloody incredible.

Which brings me nicely back to the present: this year I went non-specific. I went as: Vampire Masquerade Ball Lady. I would like to state here and now: I looked brilliant.

I need to cut back on my colon usage. Tis getting ridiculous. I really enjoy colons and their pal the semi-colon though.

Anyway. I had two reasons for my costume.

1. A year ago I bought a gorgeous, full-length, gold evening gown for £9, down from at least £60. I knew I didn’t need it but I JUST COULDN’T LEAVE IT THERE. And I didn’t need it because I never go to places where that attire is appropriate. More’s the pity. Despite spending a lot of time in the past year trying to convince my friends to attend a masked ball or, at the very least, a white-tie event, I still hadn’t had a chance to wear it!

2. I also owned a very beautiful genuine Venetian mask. I’d packed it away for a while as my ex-housemate and ex-best friend had given it to me shortly before our lives together imploded and I felt too awkward and annoyed to look at it. We recently got back on speaking terms though so I felt much better about it. It also went perfectly with the dress and so I knew that I had to make this year’s outfit out of the two.

I added some fangs, glizty jewellery, a lace fan and a snazzy up-do (so pleased with that: I never put my hair up) and I was away. Well. After adding some nipple-covers cos I couldn’t wear a bra with the backless dress, I was away.

When it was time to take the mask off at the end of the night I really didn’t want to. It was oddly comfortable. My face felt absolutely naked without it. It just felt wrong.

And I guess the point I’ve come to in a roundabout way is that one can become used to almost anything, often much quicker than you would ever think. Even something you would expect to be challenging and uncomfortable to deal with.

I have a dream…

Last night I dreamt that this blog had become REALLY popular. It was ever so exciting. There were more comments than I could keep up with and I had written a tonne of posts.

Mind you, the night before that I dreamt about a radio station for ducks. I worked there as a producer for two duck presenters, one of whom was named Sweetbill.

I don’t think my dreams are prophetic. Or if they are; the world is about to get a whole lot weirder…

Anyway. Not what I came here to write. I’ve just gotten back from seeing ‘On the Road’ which I thought was surprisingly good – both because I didn’t think the book would translate well into a film and because I hadn’t really heard any good reviews so far. But I liked it. They captured the drifting feel of the book… I feel perhaps it is best as a companion to the book. It illuminates what the reader imagines and brings the music and the look of everything sharply to life.

It’s been a while since I read Jack Kerouac’s chronicle of his travels across America and, although I confess I found it very hard to read, there was something about it that appealed to me a lot. Something that spoke to me and put into words the way I often feel inside. I loved the lust for life that the characters showed; the desire to be something, to explore the world, to really really live. I don’t wish to idealise or fetishise the way they lived or their attitudes to women, to responsibilities to others and so forth. But the heart of it, the vividness and the rush and flow of thoughts and feelings: that all rings true to me.

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” – Jack Kerouac, On the Road

I was not made for this…

… freezing cold weather!!

It’s SO cold. And it’s only September. This doesn’t seem right at all.

I’m sitting here in my living room, legs crossed under me, trying to steal my own warmth for my poor feet, and even the Snuggie that I just received from my mum (She won it in a Tombola after I’d been eyeing it up all day – she offered it to the cats first but when they didn’t want it she said I could have it. She may be joking. Or she may not.) isn’t enough to keep me warm! Damn.

I’ve been watching a TV show set in Maine lately and it looks so beautiful that it’s making me want to move there. I am ignoring one little fact: if I can’t handle THIS weather, I don’t think I’d last long in Maine. I’d have just enough time to appreciate the beauty before I froze into a girl-shaped popsicle.

On the plus side I did buy some dinosaur soap the other day. That is cheering me up immensely. I guess people may not know what dinosaur soap is.

It’s this:

I know this is a terrible photo. Sorry. And yes that is my new Snuggie as the backdrop.

I took that just now on my webcam. It looks ever so much better in real life. It looks awesome. My photography teacher would be rocking back and forth in shame if she could see this.

Anyway. It occurred to me that I should credit this. I bought it at a local craft fair but this is the Ebay store belonging to his maker: http://stores.ebay.co.uk/soaps-favours

She only had goldfish ones when I looked but they were pretty cool too. She also sells lingerie… if you wanted to know that. I haven’t used my soap yet but for looks alone: DUDE!