1. Today I ate an entire bag of microwave popcorn. Not even in the evening with a film or a friend. Just alone, mid-afternoon. I’d been eyeing it up in my cupboard for days, resisting it, but then I thought ‘eh, I’m gonna eat it eventually. Why wait?’

2. Last week I went to Nando’s twice. I justify this by deciding that since one meal happened randomly after a night out, it was still ok to go the second time as I’d actually planned that before the first trip. Also my boyfriend was there both times too so it wasn’t just me. He didn’t have one stamp left on his loyalty card and decide to get it filled by ordering ALL THE SIDE DISHES and having the main for free there and then though. I may have done that.

3. I so very couldn’t be bothered to unpack after my holiday that I left the jewellery I’d taken in its travel bag and just used it from there. When I’d worn it I still didn’t put it away; I put it back in the travel bag. It got to a point where I’d taken off some jewellery I hadn’t even taken on holiday with me and I still just put it in the travel bag. Eventually everything I own will be in that bag.

4. Also I didn’t bother to unpack anything for ages after I got back because I kinda just thought ‘hey I’m moving house soon, part of my crap is ready packed!’ Then I realised that was a month away and my mum wanted the suitcase back. It’s all unpacked now.

5. Instead of working on the articles I’m doing for a website I write for, when I got home this afternoon I read all of Snopes. I now know everything that didn’t happen ever.

6.I’m awful with remembering who the hell people are. I’m mostly bad with faces. I once didn’t recognise a teacher I’d had for a year JUST because he’d put a hat on. He came down a corridor smiling and waved and I was just confused.

7. I’m also bad with names. Recently I was chatting with a really nice girl I’d met a few times and worked on a one-day film shoot with. The subject of how awkward it was when you couldn’t remember someone’s name and they knew yours and it was too late to ask came up. After this I went ‘Oh do you know my friend G? I’ll introduce you’, walked her over there and FORGOT HER NAME. ‘This is G…. errrrrr’. Complete blank. In the end I just went ‘Oh B is calling me, excuse me!’ and ran away. Which may have been a bit rude but I was panicking like hell (also they’d already started talking to each other so it was kiiiiind of ok-ish).

And that concludes this chronicle of utter ridiculousness!